Black Females in a White world.

I am a black female. I am a black female with natural curly and what most people (even blacks) consider to be nappy hair. My hair is very thick. Since I've been growing it for a year it's probably about the same length it was when I decided to start transitioning to the natural styles a little over a year ago. It's been a process that's for sure. But Relaxers were too much. I like the natural look and feel. It feels better, I feel more like myself. But my hair isn't what defines me anyway. I have a lot of other traits and qualities that people have liked whether my hair was natural long show green or blue (if I ever actually had green or blue hair) I'm still generally the same person with or without natural hair. I'll still hair it up or down however I please. I can't speak for other people who have gone natural and how they feel about it. I can't really generalize it. But the point of this particular segment isn't to harp on my own hair. It's 'the look.'

You know what 'The look' is. It's that look that hollywood tells everyone they don't have. Well except of course the people that have it. There's this particular look that hollywood is looking for and there's a particular look that the business world is looking for. But how does one know they have or don't have this particular look that they need to have in their respective fields? What if I have the look of a hollywood star and everyone can see me on the big screen and you have the look of a business professional and I'm going on a casting call and you're in an interview room for the job I want? How do we really know what we look like when we don't get tips pointers or anything. We don't take classes on how to look the part in our early years. It's not fair to say that one does not have 'the look' when we thought we were dressing the part. Everyone knows about 'the look'  and have been subjected to it. Here's a piece of a conversation I had in the wee hours of the morning.

"Ok I can't tell about facial hair. Honest black queen hairstyle I dig but since a female and dis ain't the south gotta do something with that hair. I suggest straighting it. Dazzling it up. Ok what outfit you wearing describe it too me"

This person that I was talking to knows all about the look that I in particular should've had at my interview. Women are supposed to be beautiful, their hair is supposed to be straight because apparently otherwise it's not a good thing. I have natural hair like I said before. If I gave up what straightened my hair why should I have to straighten it at all if I don't want to? (of course with flat irons or hot combs for those who don't know) So he appreciates the fact that I do have natural hair but he thinks it's better to have straighten hair? He's only one black guy and I'm only one black girl and like I said before I can't make generalization but I'll bet that many people in general go through this. Everyone always wants what the next person has and never appreciates what they have and the next person is envious. It's a crazy cycle and it's ignorant to think with all parties that certain sets of traits are just bad because you don't like it.

This whole topic is crazy and it's because we as people not just black not just white we as people view fair skinned people as far more beautiful than brown/dark skinned people. We view people with straight hair as having good hair versus people with curly thick hair which is often referred to as nappy hair. Why is there even a name for it? Wasn't that an insult back in slavery times? People on this planet make no sense to me.